Shouldve wouldve couldve are all big words that can hold us back and create anxiety in our lives. They are the biggest judgemental words we can use when talking to ourselves. When assessing a situation or digging around in past events in our minds we need to be Strong and Firm with our own thoughts and not allow judgement to creep in and ruin our peace of mind.
Do you believe you have a choice over the thoughts that creep into your head? You do! Our thoughts create our feelings, what we believe creates our thoughts. As soon as we believe we Should be…enough, should be …somewhere else…should be….in a better job, should be…better at…should have more friends……and we allow these thoughts to run around in our head, we are creating a toxic relationship with ourselves. Its time to reframe them.
How do these thoughts make you feel? Be kind but firm, chase them away, let them go..reframe the words..have some positive encouraging words prepared for yourself to recite when the habitual critical thought cycle starts! You are doing the best you can at any point in time, give yourself a break and refuse the Shoulds in your life! Practice makes perfect. I have experienced the midnight horrors, and the early morning 4am anxiety brain wakeup calls. I fought back, with love and kindness to myself and am now sleeping so much better. When you make a stand against the things in life that are holding you back you are building something quite like Gumption!